BREAKING: Michigan Town Council Cancels Christmas-Police To Arrest On Sight

The town of Deleander, Michigan, with a population of more than 40,000 people, has been dealt a crushing blow by a trio of sneaky atheists. The three men planned a con that took them more than 10 years to pull off, culminating in what they are now calling a “victory for science.”

After working their way into the good graces of the entire town through community service and local church functions. the three men managed to get themselves elected to the town’s board of selectmen, which consists of five members plus the mayor. Having three votes, meaning a veto-proof majority in that small town, they have effe4ctively killed Christmas for each and every man, woman and child in town:

“By order of the Deleander Board of Selectmen, Any and all displays pertaining to the illegally-exploited Christian holiday of Saturnalia, also known as ‘Christmas,’ are forbidden. Exterior light or decorative displays will result in immediate confiscation, fines and in extreme cases of zealotry, arrest. Displays in the home are not to protrude from windows or doorways. ‘Christmas’ themed clothing is also banned.”

The citizens of Deleander, led by the mayor, have filed an injunction with the federal court that has already been superseded by the liberal Ninth District Court of Appeals. The three men, John LeTourneau, Gary Jones and Hank Chinaski, are being sued by at least 200 people each for breach of the public trust and illegally influencing an election.

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